A Message from Another Planet.

According to Hindu mythology, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. The statement itself is quite debatable and it’s regularly a state of comparison between the two genders. However, if we are not abusing, comparing, and taking advantage of the other planets, it’s difficult to converse. The distance between both Mars and Venus is huge enough to create complexity in the conversed message.

Men might say something and women being the Venusian might understand another thing. So, what can a blogger like me do? Well, I can help the Martians communicate with Venusian.

Jai Jio,

Good communication is always the key to a healthy relationship, be the relation of any kind, here is a list of messages transmitted from Venusians to the Martians. The signal in space is weak but we still believe that the message transmitted will reach its desired conclusions.

“If you are not sure about where my eyes are, they are located just below my forehead,  my head is on top of a cylindrical muscle mass called the neck, and my neck lies exactly between my shoulders that state on both sides of my chest, and the chest is exactly the place you have been staring.” 

“If you find me attractive all you need to do is appreciate my looks and talk to me, and if I am not available, don’t call me a hoe.”

Questions might differ, from; Am I looking fat to Am I losing my charm? nonetheless  answer to all of this is ‘No darling, you are perfect.’ (actions could differ from kiss to hugs depending on my intimacy circle) Remember it.”

“You are most welcome to be classy, sassy trendy, or whatever ***sy\y. As long as you don’t dare to steal our accessories and products.”

Things I like, diamond, gold, heal, bracelets are good investments, Xbox, VR sets, that star war stick, and your collection of shoes and caps are depreciating assets. So please take me shopping.”

“We simp around silly problems but we don’t want you to tell us about it, our problems need no therapist, we have solutions but it’s just that Venusians love to hear themselves talk. And if you can’t agree to our thoughts then you are most welcome to not speak anything and just hmm around.”

“Yes, some of us wear swimwear and have the adorable model figure guess what they are brushed all time, don’t have an unrealistic expectation, but those six-pack abs are a must.”

“We expect you to follow some of the beauty tips you learn from the girly magazine you read in the washroom, but I guess you just read cover models on it.”

“Watching sweety hunky men playing around a field is likable but you are not supposed to look for cheer girls and nextly when it’s on T.V. Sasural Simar Ka is what should be played, your cricket can be watched as highlights.”

“If you think you won an argument, you have to be in the living room, don’t expect any sorry.”

“Longhairs make most of you Martians like us, but hairs any longer than shoulder are a mess to handle, thus if you like long hairs, God has given the option to you too, grow them on your head.”

“We might look emotional but even we are scared of commitments. On the day we slip the ring into your finger we see Ranbir Kapoor, Benedict slips off our dreams, all we see is a humpy dummy sack of muscle and mass.”

“We ask you to relax but that doesn’t mean you must relax, Grooming and staying classy is not injurious. Why do you make it so tough, follow the order of brushing every day and bathing every day? Research has shown that daily bathing won’t cause sudden death. You must clean and cut your toenails before you accidentally slice someone with it, a weapon of your choice should not be your bad odder. Occasional medicare-pedicure won’t kill you as well.”

“If I cook bad you will take the charge instead of telling me to cook better, I already did my best.”

“We hear only what we wish to hear. Selective hearing is an art and we are masters of it.”

“When we ask what is going on, we know what going on, so you better admit it before the disaster hits the shores of peace.”

“On the first date we do not want you to think of our children, just buy us good drinks and promise after marriage dates and honeymoon won’t be in Vaishno Devi.”

The conversation is never one-sided, it’s a bridge of communication, if you want to hear the conversation of the other planet as well, share the article as much as you can, after we reach 100 views this week, we will post the other part of the conversation.